Advice for Leaving Your Divorce Records in the Past Where they Belong and Moving On after Divorce
If you were expecting a post on the misery of Valentines Day, you might not be ready to face the reality of life after divorce. And, yes, this includes removing the West Palm Beach courthouse from your gps ‘favorite routes’.
If you’re struggling with moving on after divorce in Florida, my goal is to show you that it really is possible. We all know that information is key. Unfortunately, you can’t find this kind of wisdom in the law records Florida keeps for the sake of posterity. Consider this a public service announcement.
Surviving Divorce in Florida is Possible if You don’t Allow Your Divorce Agreement to Dictate Your Future
I know my regular readers have had their archaic perceptions of Family Law attorneys shattered, via this very blog, in learning that we counselors can be both scholarly and engaging. That said, bear with me as I wax poetic on the theme that mindset is, indeed, everything.
If, however, this is your first introduction to the blog and your perception happens to be rooted in the assumption that Boca Raton lawyers are arrogant and grandiose by nature, this is the perfect time for a segue…
Your Happiness has Nothing to Do With a Case at the Palm Beach Courthouse
When the newly separated go for their first meeting with a family lawyer, they’re usually a hot mess. Surviving divorce in Florida seems impossible. And this goes far beyond the fear of not being able to understanding the mechanics of divorce records or what goes on in judge’s chambers at the Palm Beach courthouse. Whether teeming with anger or tore up from the floor up by feelings of inadequacy; there’s a common theme of hopelessness that generally unites those catching the midnight train to Singledom. If you fall into that category, I invite you to allow this to serve as your CTJ moment.
The First Step to Adjusting to Life After Divorce is to Stop Obsessing over Your Divorce Records
Now let’s get weird. Let me clarify that, by weird, I mean emo. No, not dudes wearing eyeliner writing poems in red lipstick on the bathroom mirror emo. But, rather, emo because I’ve become very comfortable on my moving on after divorce in Florida mindfulness soapbox.
Bottom line? Surviving divorce in Florida requires you to chill the f out and put your feelings aside.
Easier said than done, I know. This is especially true for a recent divorcee who is suffering from night tremors caused by flashbacks to time spent at the West Palm Beach courthouse.
When Surviving Divorce in Florida Seems Impossible
Throw Valentine’s Day in the mix? Forget it. I’ve heard it all before. All it takes is a Facebook photo of a friend’s child dressed as Cupid to morph a somewhat rational person into a rabid, blubbering mess. The problem is that these outer events which you have no control over aren’t isolated to the holiday obnoxiously and needlessly spotlighting your seemingly perennial status as bachelor-or-bachelorette.
Your friends child’s births, Easter, July 4th. Anything can trigger a memory of the past, and holidays are especially good at launching you down the black hole. Simply going through the motions and refusing to move forward without recognizing this is an easy pattern to fall into. The thing is, you have to learn to cope if you want to flourish. Suffering is a part of life but it’s necessary for growth. The sooner you accept this, the easier it gets.
To Fully Embrace Life after Divorce, You Need to Realize that Your Divorce Records don’t Define You
The nightmare started the day after New Years when you saw the chocolate hearts and teddy bears pop up at your local grocery store. Things got progressively worse as V-Day got closer and the shelves became more lined with reminders that you are alone. In sweatpants. With a gallon of rocky road in your cart. You pull your hat over your face when you walk by the security camera and wonder if it’s legal to record this kind of public shame.
To make matters worse, the cheerful young cashier inquires about your Valentine’s Day plans and you briefly consider going wayward Hollywood starlet on her ass and lunging across the register. But, instead, you smile politely; mumbling something about your significant other planning a big surprise. You quickly stuff the dog eared copy of your divorce agreement into your bag before rushing to the safety of your car; all while wondering how the hell you are ever going to be okay.
Newsflash: Your Divorce Agreement has Nothing to Do with Living a Happy Life after Divorce
Whether you accept pain and struggle as being a natural part of life or alternatively resign yourself to a future determined by the past is for you and you alone to decide. There’s no denying the existence of your divorce records are a testament to the end of your marriage. How you react to that fact won’t change anything.
If your stressing that your ex won’t adhere to the terms of your divorce agreement after the ink has dried, stop. If something does go awry in the future, you can deal with it then. Shakespeare once said there is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. Turns out, the ole Bard couldn’t have been more right.
Take, for example, the use of steroids in major league baseball. It’s been a hotbed of controversy since Parkway Joe officially outed the criminal scandal and is still going strong. This is a prime example of people who are unable to appreciate the beauty in moving on.
At the time this was originally posted, Dan LeBatard had just decided to pawn his 2014 hall of fame ballot to a sports site in protest. Although not his sole reason, it’s widely accepted as a primary motivating factor. Following this, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by two of the most popular ESPN broadcasting duos’ reactions. Kornheiser and Wilbon were up in arms practically calling for DB’s crucifixion while over on the set of Mike & Mike, the boys came to defense (which is strange in and of itself, but that’s neither here nor there).
When you actually dissect the situation, you will see that an individual orchestrated an action which promoted his own interests. End of story. It was only the anchors, along with the judgment passed by every other blue-blooded American who weighed in on the subject, that qualified the act as being admirable or sacrelig.
A Successful Life after Divorce Means not Allowing Your Divorce Records to Determine Your Happiness
If you’re thinking there’s no parallel between a dope scandal and surviving divorce in Florida, patience grasshopper. You can trust Boca Raton domestic attorneys, right? Well, you can now.
We have all gone through things that we thought were impossible to get over. Whether it be a run in with the law, the death of a loved one or the loss of a job. Even the strongest people have a tough time with these life altering events. But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Everything changes. If you don’t accept that it’s true with relationships life will always get you down. Regardless of the crisis, things will be okay in the end. And if they’re not okay, it’s not the end.
Alright, alright so I lifted that line from the charming little sweetpea in The Very Best Marigold Hotel, but it’s true. And it applies if you tortured yourself with mastering life after divorce or not. Each trial and tribulation, no matter how hellish it was to experience, molded you into the person you are today. In fact, the person you are meant to be.
You loved life once and I promise that you will again. There’s no denying that going through a divorce blows and can be overwhelming. This is true whether it’s Valentine’s Day or Flag Day or even just Wednesday. It takes a lot of soul-searching and, more often than not, you have to start from scratch and create a new identity. But, think about it… you get to start from scratch and create a new identity.
Show Gratitude in Dealing with Life after Divorce: Surviving Divorce in Florida is a Blessing, Not a Curse
At the end of the day, your marriage ended because one of you wasn’t happy. If it was you, you’re well aware of the reasons why and wasting the opportunity to find your true happiness in favor of playing the perpetual victim is a travesty. If it was your spouse that threw up deuces, he or she did you a favor because they gave you freedom. One day you’ll find the lid to your pot and realize what it feels like to be appreciated.
Let me be the first to tell you, honey, there is no greater failure than selling yourself short by acquiescing to a life of unhappiness. Things don’t always work out, big whoop. Besides, who really wants to live a life mandated by what someone else thinks they should do?!
Make mental health and working through emotional problems a priority before you even think about making plans for next Valentines Day. Men and women often base their worth on the treatment they receive from others and that’s never a good thing. Mutual respect should be expected, regardless of what happened during the course of getting your divorce records filed.
Focus On the Person You’ve Become by Surviving Divorce In Florida
Nothing can make you feel some type of way unless you allow it to and the only person you are hurting by being a raging lunatic or consumed with sadness is yourself. So, get up, brush your shoulders off and start acting like you’re the best thing to happen since the advent of the fluffernutter sandwich (I mean, really, those things are freaking a-mazing). At the end of the day, if you don’t see all of the wonderful things you have to offer, you best believe no one else will either.
We will return to our normally scheduled educational blog in the next post. Oh, and if you just so happen to be looking for Boca Raton domestic attorneys that will tirelessly fight to protect your interests while simultaneously ensuring that the courtroom door doesn’t hit you on the way out…We got you, boo.
Click Boca Raton Domestic Attorneys to schedule your consultation. Proudly Serving Boca Raton, Delray Beach, West Palm Beach, and all of Palm Beach County, South Florida.
Boca Raton Family Lawyers Practice Areas Include:
Florida Prenuptial Agreement
Post Marital Divorce Agreement
Simplified Dissolution of Marriage
High Net Worth Divorce
Florida Alimony Laws
Division of Retirement Benefits In Florida Divorce
Legal Separation Agreement
Division of Property
Dissipation of Marital Assets
Modification of Alimony Payments
Florida Modification of Child Support
Modification Of Child Custody In Florida
Florida Child Support Enforcement